Tales of the Traffic Troll

I got your attention with that title, didn't I? Perfect! Now keep reading please! Today I want to talk about something most people do on a daily basis. NO, I’m not talking about brushing your teeth or wrestling an alligator, I’m talking about driving. Yes, driving. Now, I know that there are far more interesting things to talk about, but just hear me out on this one.

I work in Downtown Dallas but live about 40 miles away. There’s always traffic, so I spend a considerable amount of time in my car. Because of this, I’ve started to notice how horrible people are at driving and how clueless and unaware everyone is. There are some moments where my mind is blown at the amount of stupidity on the roads, and frankly it’s terrifying and frustrating. With that being said, I know you’re all deeply concerned now that I’ve pointed this out, right? Well, have no fear because I’ve found the solution. Thanks to all the hours I’ve spent in the car, I was able to come up with a few tips and tricks for all drivers everywhere to use. Please, do us all a favor and check it out. Then pass it on to someone else. It’s just like a cold, only this is way better.

#1 – Take your foot off the brake AND off the accelerator. Think about it, you use your brake to stop and your accelerator to go. What do you do when you want to slow down? You take your foot off both and you coast. I want you to think about what you do when you’re driving on the freeway and you see drivers ahead are kind of tapping on their brakes. What do you do? You start tapping your breaks too. Don’t lie, I know you do. EVERYONE does. And then everything gets backed up and we’re all tapping our brakes wondering “where’s the wreck we’re all stopping for?!” So here’s the cool thing, if you’d just take your foot off all controls and let the car coast a little, it’d keep things running a little more smoothly. When I see someone slam on their brakes for no reason, I automatically assume they are stupid and don’t understand the concept of smart driving. Don’t be one of those dummies, PLEASE!

#2 – Please don’t drive on my back bumper. It’s rude. If for some reason I HAVE to slam on my brakes, you’re coming through my back window and I don’t want that. So please, back up off this. That’s great you’re super excited to get to your Grandma’s party or you’re in a rush to empty your bowels but I don’t care. Riding on my car butt is not going to get you any closer to your destination any faster.

#3 – The art of the “thank you” wave. Have you ever given someone a gift or did someone a favor and they didn’t say thank you? It pretty much ruins that warm fuzzy you just had for being so nice, right? That’s exactly what happens when I give someone the gift of merging in front of me and they don’t give me the thank you wave. I need a thank you wave. I need you to recognize my kindness. I was talking to a friend that’s not from Texas and I was bragging about how nice the drivers are here, that we’re the best at giving thank you waves. He completely disagreed and said that he rarely got a wave. So I decided to do an experiment. I let people in and let pedestrians cross, I wanted to prove to my friend that Texans are the perfect thank you wavers. But I was so wrong. Now I notice it all the time and it makes me so ashamed of my people, which shouldn’t ever happen. EVER! I’ve especially noticed younger drivers are the worst offenders. That’s great you think you’re hot and young, but throw me a thank you wave before I throw you my fist. Not really, but seriously.

#4 – Oh, you’re welcome! Some of you are probably thinking “I already give thank you waves, but I never get them!” I feel your pain. Want to know how to make it better? Give a “you’re welcome” wave. It’s incredible how much it shames people and forces them to give a wave back. They look like the jerk and you look like the angel you really are. It’s a win-win! You just have to teach people how to treat you, it’s as simple as that.

#5 – No, you aren’t the only one on the road. This one is simple and pretty much encompasses all the rules above. Just be nice, be aware, and be courteous. While we’d all like to think the world revolves around us, it actually doesn’t. So hang up the phone, get off my back, and be a better driver. I understand you’re in a rush to get home to shave your beard or empty the dishwasher, but so is everyone else. We are all busy and we all have things to do. But when someone starts acting like their life is more important than others, traffic happens and people start hating each other. Don’t be the cause of traffic. Please.

Know that these are simply rules and guidelines. Don’t try to blame me for any accidents or mishaps. You’re the driver and you know what’s right and what’s wrong. Now let’s unite as drivers and stop the madness! Use this great knowledge to go forth and conquer!!!

Musings of an "old" person

Ok Ok, I sincerely apologize for my lack of updating this blog.  I know the people that are kind enough to read my stuff have been waiting for me to post, so here it goes, enjoy!

I haven’t been able to write as much, because I have this new thing called a job - a real life, “grown up” job.  The kind where I wear real clothes-not a uniform or my favorite sweat pants-,  have my own business cards, and wake up at the crack of dawn to sit in traffic with everyone else in the DFW metroplex.   I really do enjoy this new phase of life, it’s been fun and interesting and I’m excited to see where this next phase of life will take me.

So, the other day at work, I overheard a conversation between two of my co-workers.  They were talking about going shopping and how it’s changed since they were teenagers.  Speaking of one particular store, my one co-worker observed:  “…the music was so loud and everyone looked so sad.  I mean, is that the cool thing now? Being there made me realize, that maybe I’m just too old.”  I laughed when I heard this, mostly because I knew exactly what she was talking about.  I then realized that I was just too old too. Now, I’m not implying anything negative here. I think that most humans have a moment like this; a sudden realization that they are no longer 18. One of the most interesting parts of this pivotal moment in one’s life is not necessarily that they ARE old, it’s that younger people SEE them as old.  I think that’s the most devastating part, but also the most humorous.  Yes kids, I do go to bed at 9:30, and yes, I like it very much! So, in the spirit of these thoughts, I’ve compiled a list of things that I think might qualify me as an older folk, or what I like to call a “grown up”

Indicators that I might not be as young as I thought I was:

1.     Things are a lot louder than I remember them being.  You ever hear that saying “if it’s too loud you’re too old”?, well I get what that means now.  I echo the thoughts of my co-worker, and more often than I’d like to admit I think to myself “geez turn that crap down, it’s too loud and I can’t think”.  Yep, I’m getting old.

2.     Summertime? What does that even mean?  Well, where I work, it means you can wear jeans.  Wear jeans, but still get yourself to work.  It’s quite a concept to wrap my mind around, that “summer break” is no longer a thing.  I’m ok with it though when I get my paycheck.  But does that make me old? Yeah…probably.

3.     What is up with the outfits I’ve seen lately?  Especially on these girls.  I mean, WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!  In my family, we like to call them “junderwear” – slang for jean underwear - but apparently they’re just called “shorts” to that younger crowd that wears them.

4.     YOLO? Really? That’s annoying.  Come on kids, come up with something cooler and maybe more sophisticated?  I echo the words of Jack Black, “I’m fairly certain YOLO is just Carpe Diem for stupid people.” Does it make me at least a little young that I know what YOLO means AND I quoted Jack Black?  Eh…probably not.

5.     I’m pretty sure that every parent has said at least once to their children, “wake up, you’re wasting the day”.  I used to get so irritated when people would say that. I would always think, “geez, sleeping is NOT a waste of a day.”  But sadly, I must admit that I get this parental philosophy now.  If I wake up anytime after 8:30, I feel like a total bum, like the rest of the day is totally shot.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but the amount I get done in a day is directly related to how early I wake up. 

What is happening to me?!  Before I know it, I’ll be confused by the latest technology and be asking questions like “what’s a Bieber?”.  Oh well, there are major benefits to this old person thing. But I’ll get to all that next time!

 Stay classy my readers!!!!

Happy Days Are Here Again! BASEBALL TIME Y'ALL!!!

Finally! The wait is over! The off-season blues are cured! It’s spring time my friends, and that means BASEBALL!  Although technically we’re just in spring training, it still calls for celebration and a whole blog post dedicated to the greatest thing known to humankind!  I can’t express enough the joy that I feel when I think about the season ahead!  It is SO fantastic to finally get a text from ESPN telling me the Rangers game has started, note “Exhibit A” picture. 

Exhibit A 

Who wouldn’t be thrilled to get a text like that?!  Anyways, some crazy people seem to think that their team is better than mine, so I did everyone a favor and made a list to prove that they’re wrong and I’m right.  In addition to this, I’ve added some of my personal favorite Ranger related pictures to get EVERYONE pumped up for 2012. Enjoy all y’all!

7 reasons why the Texas Rangers are better than your team:

#7: Everything Nolan Ryan touches turns into awesomeness

#6: Playing in 110 degree weather with 100% humidity takes skill and cold-hard manliness

#5: Do YOU sing “Deep in the heart of Texas” at every home game? Didn’t think so

#4: Derek Holland’s moustache, need I say more?

#3: Ron Washington’s moustache, need I say more?

#2: Yu Darvish, seven pitches of hard-core greatness

#1: Dropping the claw, dropping the antlers; that’s how we play y’all! 

This was a proud moment, FINALLY getting to World Series!

Opening Day for 2011 Season 

"YEAH WORLD SERIES!!!!"

World Series 2010 with Mama Bear 

This is our dog Ranger, and 

yes he IS named after our

 favorite baseball team! 

This was back in the day when they did the
 "birthday parade" at the games. I was so excited to be in it!!!! 

I'm a Crafting Beast!!!

Once again, I apologize for the delay of this post.  But don’t worry, it’s still awesome!

So a few weeks ago, as we all know, we celebrated good ol’ Valentine’s Day.  And being the creative beast that I am (thanks to my current addiction to pinterest) I decided to make Valentine’s for all my loved ones.  Luckily some of my fellow wolf pack decided to join in on the fun.  It got a little crazy, (as you can see in this picture with me, Mom, and Veronica) we pulled out all the glitter, stickers, stamps, papers, scissors, and anything else you could think of to create our awesomeness.  As is evidenced by this picture, we were able to make some pretty great cards. 

 

I enjoyed getting my craft on and although I wanted to make cards for all those that I love, I ended up making only a few (my little hands were growing tired and weak after the first one!).  Here are the fruits of my labor, you’re welcome for taking a picture so all y’all can enjoy the awesomeness!  

This post is super late, but still AWESOME! 

Ok readers this post is delayed by a few weeks, so I apologize.  Nevertheless, it’s still a good post, so read on!

Busy but fun week!  I spent a lot of time at work, training kiddos and showing them the ropes of my trade, very exciting.  But even more exciting than that is the weekend I had with some of the people I love most.  So here it goes:

One of the things I love the most about being home is participating in some good ol' Vanderpool family traditions.  While I do love bowling on Thanksgiving, finding hidden gifts on Christmas, and showing up six hours early for any given Rangers game, there is one that is often forgotten, mostly because it's pretty random and up until this point hasn't been considered an official Vanderpool family pastime, but today I am changing that. What is this greatness to which I am adding to the noble traditions of the Vanderpool clan?  A little event held in Canton, Texas referred to as “First Mondays,” or what the seasoned vets (such as myself) simply call “Canton,” as in “oh hey, we’re going to Canton to find a petrified dinosaur egg, or random yard art, care to join us?” The easiest way to describe this place is like a flea market, but on some serious steroids.  Think of it like this, take a typical flea market, add a butt load of awesome junk, people without teeth, illegally sold exotic animals, and deep-fried anything, and you’ve got Canton.  In the summer it’s extra exciting, because people feel like it’s appropriate to wear a tube top while eating a giant turkey leg.  Although this wasn’t the experience this weekend, we still had fun.  The three of us-Mom, Veronica, and myself- enjoyed a great shopping trip, and we all walked away with some great purchases. I got some candles, two much needed (and adorable!) aprons, and a set of long horns that I’ve been meaning to add to my collection of awesome Texas paraphernalia for many years.  It is because of these trips to Canton that I am able to continue my addiction to strange knick-knacks, funnel cakes, and unnecessary but totally legitimate things to stuff inside my house.


I apologize for the lack of visual stimulation, a.k.a. pictures, but as y'all can tell by my late posting, I've gotten a bit lazy lately.  That will change, I promise.  But for now, that's all I have to say about that! 

Adventures of a new college grad...

It’s been a while since I last updated my blog, I had this thing called college to finish up. The good news is that I’m now a college graduate, HOORAY! Go me! The bad news is, I’m still incredibly busy. I thought that once I graduated things would be all peaches and cream. I could sit around the house, stare at my dog (check him out in this awesome pic) and watch re-runs of “Toddlers and Tiaras.” However, I was sorely mistaken. Ok Ok, I am actually making it sound like I’m miserable being so busy, but I actually really like it, mostly because I’m busy with my family and friends, living it up pretending to be a responsible, mature adult. So, here go the adventures of me post-graduation. Sit back and enjoy people, because it’s always awesomeness with me!

Last Week...

Aside from the weekly Taco Tuesdays, my week varies in its adventures. Last week I went with Carlos and Graham to this burger place called Roots. Although I don’t particularly care for more burgers in my life than necessary, it was still a fun little trip. The most exciting part though, was the fact that we basically risked our lives going to this place. Let me explain, Carlos failed to mention that we were going to the Roots in Deep Ellum, for those of you who are not familiar with this place, let me fill you in. You don’t go to Deep Ellum unless you want to get shot or stabbed. Ok, I’m exaggerating, but still, when I was in high school, it was widely known that you do not go to Deep Ellum after dark, as it was sure death. Nevertheless, we went anyways, and aside from the screaming, yelling, and crying that went on once we figured out where we were going, it was still quite fun. And I think it goes without saying, though I’ll say it anyways, that none of us got shot, stabbed, or even close to threatened.

This Week...

This week was equally as fun. My family and I went to the legendary Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo. As we walked from the car to the ticket booth, I couldn’t help but feel a twinkle of Texas pride, my family and I were all wearing our boots, and we looked pretty legit and awesome. Ok, so my nine month old niece Avery wasn’t wearing any boots, but I will give her a pass because she’s so gosh darn cute. And she hates wearing shoes, so I wouldn’t want her to do something that would make her grouchy. The rodeo was a blast, I especially love the bareback bronco riding. Don’t judge, but I like to scream the entire time this goes on, as I think it adds to the intensity of the event. I’m sure the people around me don’t appreciate it much, but I can’t contain my excitement. I love me some good Texas awesomeness, and rodeos like this are the perfect thing. I’m glad I could experience it with my family, and that we are able to be a part of the great Texan culture around us. And I must admit, we all look pretty dang cute in our Texas boot get-ups.

Fall Time is a Happy Time...Mostly

OHHHH the torment of the Fall Classic. This past week was a little rough. My Texas Rangers lost in one of the greatest series ever played in the history of the game. It was heartache, torture, and down right frustrating. But I still love my team, as is evidenced by this ridiculous picture (side note, this was actually LAST year, but my obsession remains the same of course). While the World Series basically ruled my week, there were other things that made it not as painful. We carved pumpkins while watching Happy Gilmore, I got an "A" on one of my papers for my Studies in the American Novel class, and I just ate about 25 of my homemade chocolate chip cookies. I must say that this time of year makes me feel pretty happy. There is something special about snuggling up on the couch and watching the game, eating some delicious food, and wearing some cute boots and scarfs to school. While it is no secret that living in Utah

is not my favorite, the colors of Fall are rather beautiful. I think it is pretty fun to actually enjoy a real change in the weather and in the trees! But PLEASE, don't take this as my conversion to Utah love....nope, I will ALWAYS and FOREVER be a Texas girl at heart. Well that's about it for now. Until next post...peace out y'all!